I would like the people that love me to stop treating me like a medical victim. Yes, I have a unique type of degenerative disc disease. Yes, the doctors have told me that surgery is too risky in my case. Yes, if I push myself too hard, there is a small chance I could paralize myself. Yes, I’m reminded of all this by constant daily pain. But that is NOT who I am.
Whenever I go over to friends’ homes or out to church, I am usually greeted with long faces, frowns and the occasional “Awwww” or “Oh, you look like you are in so much pain.” Well, there is a reason for that… I AM! But beig reminded of it is counter to the purpose for me actually GOING to people homes or church… I am trying to carry on as normally as I can.
I don’t think people realize how discouraging it is when week after week, the same greeting they give me is something related to my pain; “Are you feeling better?”, “Hang in there.”, ” You should try remedy X.” It’s insulting to think that I have nothing better to talk about than my pain.
When people see me out and about, it’s because I WANT to be out and about. I want to do something that makes me feel normal. I want to forget about the things that trouble me and focus on other people. But for some reason, no matter what I do or where I go, it usually comes back to me. I’m fine. I’m used to it. I can handle it. Now, let’s move on.
If you know someone with a chronic condition or ongoing situation, try to take their mind off it. Ask them about something else. Any good books/movies/games lately? What do you think of issue X? Let me get your advice on situation Y. Or my favorite: When can I come over and play games with you?
Please stop labeling people according to their current medical condition. They are so much deeper than that.
